Here’s a problem with most executive coaching that I’ve discovered over the years: the coach only hears the story from one person — the coachee.
That’s not to knock the coachee. The truth is, it’s nearly impossible to see yourself completely. And the problem compounds with every promotion. The more senior you become, the less honest feedback you receive. Direct reports filter what they tell you. Peers are often competing with you. Your boss is busy. By the time someone reaches the C-suite, they may be operating on years of distorted information about how they really come across.
The One-Perspective Problem
I’ve observed that coaching from a single point of view creates three problems.
First, I’m learning about complex dynamics from only one person’s account, which may be flawed or incomplete. People don’t just misperceive situations — they narrate them. As Joan Didion wrote, “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” By the time an executive describes a conflict to a coach, it’s already a story with a hero. The coach’s job is to break that story open, but it’s difficult to do from inside the story.
Second, there’s a chance that a client may be the source of the problem. Without outside input, I could spend months coaching the wrong issue entirely.
Third, discovery takes time — peeling back the layers one conversation at a time can take months – and execs want results in minutes not months.
I’ve run into all three problems firsthand, so I use a system that addresses them all before the first session.
“A focused 360 at the start of an engagement is one of the smartest moves a coach can make. It saves time, gives real ground to build on, and brings in outside perspectives for a more expansive, holistic approach. That’s exactly what Joe’s 360 did and I’ve felt the positive impact.”
Jenn Sammarco, Tech Founder & CEO, Everest AI
The Focused 360
Before beginning an engagement I ask every new client to introduce me to four or five people they’ve worked closely with — above them, below them, and at their level. They can include one person from outside work, a spouse, a longtime friend, even a former rival. I then interview each person for 30 minutes and ask three questions:
- What should this person keep doing?
- What should they stop doing?
- What should they do more of?
Of course I follow each question with probes and requests for specific examples. Responses are then anonymized, grouped by theme, and shared with my client.
You may think people will say only nice things. Nope! In a confidential conversation with a neutral third party people have permission to say things they would never say to the person’s face or type into an HR survey. The Keep/Stop/Do-more structure forces balance, and the follow-up questions dig past broad generalities into specifics. This is also what separates a live, interview-based 360 from the check-the-box versions lots of companies run. Numerical surveys produce scores. Interviews produce stories, examples, and patterns I can work with.
I certainly didn’t invent stakeholder interviews. The approach is the gold standard at elite coaching firms but few coaches do them because they take hours of unbilled work per client. I do them because I’ve found the insights they provide to be invaluable.
Why It Works
Themed feedback gives my client a clear picture of how they’re being perceived — including areas they were unaware of or had quietly buried. One client came to me convinced his problem was a difficult peer; the focused 360 revealed his own habit of interrupting in meetings. We could have spent months helping him navigate the “difficult peer” but the interviews uncovered a much more salient behavior that we could instantly address.
It also compressed the timeline, so instead of slowly excavating issues session by session, we began with months’ worth of discovery already on the table.
More critically, it allowed the client to set the agenda — not from my diagnosis, but from his own colleagues’ observations. That’s data, not my opinion. Resistance drops and buy-in is immediate. And while receiving feedback almost always includes one point that stings, the sting is the signal. It marks where the growth can come from, and we face it together.
Most executive coaching starts with one voice. Starting with five is a great advantage. So, if you’re interviewing coaches, ask them one question: “How will you learn who I actually am?”
If the answer is “You’ll tell me,” you may want to keep looking.