by Cheryl Lambert
Providing critical feedback is tough for most of us. Frankly, unless we like inflicting pain and causing discomfort, why would anyone choose to tell another person that her presentation was awful, that he should learn to answer the questions directly, that she ought to wait until others are finished speaking instead of interrupting… the list goes on.
However, we should provide critical feedback because we care about developing others. Our careers depend on it. Without training people to step into our shoes, how can we move on to positions of more responsibility?
Furthermore, if someone gets feedback delivered in the right way, it can make a huge and positive difference in their career.
The Loving Sandwich
I found “The Loving Sandwich” to be a powerful and effective way to deliver feedback, especially critical feedback where performance improvement is sought.
Just like a sandwich, there are three parts – two slices of bread and the filling.
Here’s how it works.
The first part is something positive, so the recipient can take in this good news and feel confident about her work.
“Your presentation was incredible. I could tell that you researched every detail that would be important to the client.”
Be careful to say more than “good job!” The more specific we can be with the feedback, the better for everyone.
Then we have the filling, and this is the area where we are looking for someone to up their game, improve their performance.
“Our client expected a presentation of no more than fifteen minutes, and I could see that when you spoke for more than 25, several in the room were looking at their wristwatches.”
And the third piece.
“I can help you out with next week’s presentation, timing everything, so that our client‘s expectations are met. You put a great deal of effort into this and I’m confident that you can succeed in every way at the next meeting.”
Before trying the sandwich, jot down your thoughts and look them over.
Make sure that the first piece of feedback is welcoming and positive, a vote of confidence as it were.
The second piece, the filling, zeroes in on what needs tweaking, what should be different the next time so there’s more success.
And the third and final piece can reiterate your confidence in the person, or outline a suggested path to getting to improved performance.
More examples
“Robert, you were incredibly prepared and had all of the data the boss demanded. When he asked you about samples 3 – 5, you said “no” each time. Take it from me: I’ve worked for this fellow for years and he doesn’t like to hear “no.” Next time, you can say — well, when I examined the data for processes 3 – 5 I found that …. or that’s an interesting question. The samples I took reveal that…. Just try not to say “no!” I’m confident you can pull this off. We’ll have the next opportunity at Thursday’s meeting, and we can have a dry run the previous day.”
“Lisa, your presentation was very good. Your grasp of the information was detailed and precise, and your explanations, when asked about our sales, was right on target. Next opportunity you have to deliver a speech to this group, try to make more eye contact and refer to your notes less often. A good way to make this happen is to practice beforehand, and memorize as much as you can, just like an actor would a script. Speak in front of a mirror in your home so that you can actually gauge how frequently you are looking up from your notes. This is challenging. I know first hand. And I also know you can do this!”
This sandwich began with positive feedback about how knowledgeable Lisa was about her topic. Then she was given input on how to improve — the sandwich filling, and the ending is a huge vote of confidence.
Sandwiches can be used practically any time — after a presentation, or even during a review. What’s positive from the get-go, is the person has been complimented and recognized for something that’s going well. And the feedback ends with an important vote of confidence.